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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for Mon, 09 Dec 2019

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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis on Mon, 09 Dec 2019

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3 days ago
Louisville, Kentucky
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Attorney General Barr Wonders If Communities That Don't ‘Respect’ Police Should Have Police at All

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Attorney General William Barr apparently thinks communities that don’t show police “respect” might not deserve police at all.

It’s unclear what, exactly, Barr’s idea of demonstrating respect for police would look like, but he suggested to a room full of law enforcement that police protection should perhaps be contingent on communities showing support for police.

“But I think today, American people have to focus on something else, which is the sacrifice and the service that is given by our law enforcement officers,” Barr said on Tuesday at a Justice Department ceremony honoring police officers. “And they have to start showing, more than they do, the respect and support that law enforcement deserves ― and if communities don’t give that support and respect they might find themselves without the police protection they need.”

Barr compared police officers nowadays to “our brave troops” who served in Vietnam then “weren’t treated very well, in many cases, when they came home.”

READ: Trump's Ukraine scandal is also Attorney General Bill Barr's scandal

Critics soon pointed out that deference to police is not a precondition for protection.

“[The] US Attorney General fails to understand police are not a protection racket,” tweeted Andrew Stroehlein, the European media director for Human Rights Watch.

Former federal prosecutor and MSNBC analyst Mimi Rocah tweeted: “These are despicable & dangerous comments from the AG, who leads law enforcement. Everyone, no matter your party, should denounce this immediately.”

Many observers also took the comments from Barr as thinly veiled jabs at communities of color that have protested police brutality. Leadership from American Bridge, a liberal lobbying and fundraising group, railed against his statements to HuffPost, which first reported on the speech from Barr.

READ: The cop who shot Atatiana Jefferson in her own home was just charged with murder

“The attorney general isn’t being subtle and that shouldn’t surprise us considering this administration’s record,” American Bridge spokesperson Jeb Fain told HuffPost. “When it comes to communities of color, he sees justice and equal protection under the law as subject to conditions.”

Fain continued: “Barr’s words are as revealing as they are disturbing ― flagrantly dismissive of the rights of Americans of color, disrespectful to countless law enforcement officers who work hard to serve their communities, and full of a continuing disregard for the rule of law.”

During the course of his tenure as attorney general, Barr has also said there must be “zero tolerance for resisting police” in a speech that complained about officers not being shown the proper respect.

Cover: In this Nov. 22, 2019, file photo, Attorney General William Barr speaks with members of the press before participating in a law enforcement roundtable at the Flathead County Sheriff's Posse in Evergreen, Mont. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky, File)

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8 days ago
Lick the boot, or there will be no boot there to lick when you want it.
Louisville, Kentucky
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whenever louisville produces positive energy it must also produce chaotic energy in equal measure to balance it. that’s why your timeline is 100% lamar jackson and papa john

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whenever louisville produces positive energy it must also produce chaotic energy in equal measure to balance it. that’s why your timeline is 100% lamar jackson and papa john

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16 days ago
Louisville, Kentucky
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by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five


Last year’s hot NFL team, the Los Angeles Rams, hosted this year’s hot NFL team, the Baltimore Ravens, in the L.A. Coliseum last night. It wasn’t close. The Baltimore Birds slammed the Rams 45-6 and viewers left sure of two things: 1. Lamar Jackson was the steal of the 2018 NFL draft (the 32nd and final pick of the first round) and 2. nobody wants to hear Booger McFarland compare the Ravens to The Wire ever again.

Jackson, who was the fifth quarterback chosen in the 2018 draft, has thus far been undeniably the best. Last night he threw five touchdown passes and while he’s not the most prolific passer in the league this season by a long shot, he is third in passer rating and he’s also the only quarterback in the top 10 in the NFL in rushing.

Mark Ingram, who scored twice last night, is one of three Heisman Trophy winners on the Raven roster

The Ravens are 9-2. Right now it’s between Lamar and Christian McCaffrey (another deserving Heisman Trophy winner who, unlike Lamar, was overlooked for the award) for NFL MVP this season. McCaffrey leads the league in rushing yardage.

McCaffrey’s middle name is Jackson, by the way. Jackson’s middle name is not McCaffrey.

Seoul Mates*

*The judges will also accept “Crazy Rich and Poor Asians”

The movie you should see right now? Parasite, a film out of South Korea written and directed by Bong Joon-ho. See, there’s a poor family (above), the Kims, and a wealthy family, the Parks. When the Kim son lands a job as a tutor for the Park’s daughter, he soon figures out a way to land his three other family members jobs at the Park home (art therapy teacher, driver, housekeeper) without the Parks ever realizing they are all members of the same family.

So far, so funny. Then the story takes a turn for the hearse.

To say more would be wrong. You’ll really enjoy this film, but you’ll have to read the subtitles. This will most likely win the Best Foreign Film Oscar in a few months. It’s downright entertaining and suspenseful and while it may have a lesson or two to provide about class structure, you’re too busy being entertained to feel as if anyone’s preaching.

The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Fiend

If you’re wondering what Fox News’ Tucker Carlson is doing here, it’s quite simple. First, he’s attempting to normalize the footsie being played between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin although it’s quite curious since right up until the moment Trump began entreating the Russians to look into Hillary’s e-mails in 2016 the Russkies were America’s sworn Cold War adversary.

Second, what he’s also doing is demonstrating that the Democrats and “libtards” are a far greater threat to the America he loves than Russia is. Which is how much of the Trump GOP actually feels.

Sure, it’s queer to listen to the same people who would’ve bashed Obama 24-7 for doing anything even close to what Trump has been alleged of doing both in regards to cozying up to Russia and to attempting to extort Ukraine suddenly say, “I’m rooting for the Russians.” But that is where we are.

Yesterday I had a thought: What happens when the “real Americans” (who watch Fox) are outnumbered by the unreal Americans? Well, that day is coming and you see, the Fox’ies are trying to prep America for it. How? By manipulating elections, by loading the federal courts with federal judges, by attempting to keep the Senate a red majority and, lastly, by gas lighting Americans into thinking that the Constitution no longer matters as much as what the President believes; that he is a king and that his rule is inviolate.

That’s what all of this is about: holding onto white power in a nation that is increasingly, week by week, not white. Nothing more than that.

Wilder Wilding

Nobody pays too much attention to traditional boxing any more, not even to heavyweight fights. On Saturday night, however, Deontay Wilder did Burgess Meredith’s Rocky quote proud: “He’ll knock you into tomorrow, Rock!”

On Saturday night the 6’7″ Tuscaloosa native KO’d Luis Ortiz in the final seconds of the 7th round with a punch that literally knocked all the sweat beads into the fourth row. It was like watching one of those magical bird migration patterns in slo-mo.

In 2015 Wilder, 34, became the first American heavyweight boxing champion after a nine year interregnum for the Yanks at that weight class. He is 42-0-1 in his career with with 41 of those wins by knockout. Twenty of those 41 knockouts have taken place in the first round.

The only person Wilder beat but failed to knock out was Tyson Fury, which is too perfect a name when you consider the last great American heavyweight previous to Wilder. Here’s what the announcer said at the end of Saturday’s fight, moments after the knockout: “There is a reason why he’s the baddest man on the planet!”


Five Films: 1963

  1. The Great Escape: Another great World War II manly man film starring Steve McQueen, James Garner and Charles Bronson, among others. A simply unforgettable WW2 flick. 2. Tom Jones: A deserving Best Picture starring Albert Finney that is a rollicking adventure with great good fun and a charming and bawdy leading man. It doesn’t get the same attention as a lot of “classics,” but no one ever saw this film without enjoying themselves 3. The Birds: In a year that also featured Bye, Bye Birdie, this film with Tippi Hedren and Rod Taylor gets the aviary nod. 4. The Pink Panther: The film that started it all. Peter Sellers was supposed to be more of a supporting player with David Niven’s jewel thief the star, but as he began stealing every scene director Blake Edwards was shrewd enough to recognize what audiences would respond to. If you’re too young to have seen the Pink Panther series, make it a point to see them (“The Return of…” is our favorite). 5. From Russia With Love: Some people consider this James Bond film, the second, to be the best of the Sean Connery era. There’s a sound argument to be made for this and, no, none of it takes place in Russia.

Remote Patrol

Echo In The Canyon


We caught this very good and entertaining documentary last night. It’s all about the Laurel Canyon music scene of the mid-1960s that brought The Byrds, the Mamas and the Papas and the Buffalo Springfield into the foreground. Jakob Dylan, whose pop had a thing or two to do with it all starting out, developed this project and conducts all the interviews.

Dylan, give him this, is a terrific host. Notice how quiet he is as his subjects talk, allowing them to fill the blank spaces, which creates a far better interview. Being the son of one of the all-time rock gods, he’s not nervous or anxious in the presence of Roger McGuinn, Michelle Phillips, Brian Wilson, Steven Stills, David Crosby, Jackson Browne or even Tom Petty, whose contribution to this project will bring a smile to your face.

This was a labor of love and what Dylan has done here is laid down a historical document that, while not approaching Ken Burns-doc status, will be viewed for a long time after all of these legends are part of the dirt. A hilarious moment that we rolled back twice to re-watch: as different subjects opine as to why David Crosby was booted from The Byrds, we shift to Dylan interviewing Crosby with the gorgeous Santa Monica mountains in the background. “That’s not the reason I was kicked out of the Byrds,” says Crosby, who then turns directly to the camera and says, “The reason I was kicked out of The Byrds was because I was an asshole.”

How can you not love a man like that?

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16 days ago
w/r/t the boxing clip, you can see the exact moment the soul left that man's body.
Louisville, Kentucky
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They Accused Me Of Being a Teacher

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This is an amazing look into the mind of the fanatically hard-right Republican. I am just going to paste the whole thing. Enjoy?

Alyssa Dara McDowell spent Election Day waving signs, encouraging voters, and praying that Kenton County would go to Republican incumbent Governor Matt Bevin.

Clad in a Wonder Woman shirt that had become a staple of her campaign wardrobe in the closing days of the 2019 election season, McDowell had no time to change before rushing to pick up a friend as soon as the polls closed.

The two were headed to Louisville’s famed Galt House for what supporters hoped would be a victory celebration for Bevin’s reelection.

But the night took an unexpected turn for McDowell in a variety of ways. Her prayers for a Bevin victory went unanswered, with Bevin losing to Democratic rival Andy Beshear. And then, after a hasty decision to rush the stage, the Covington mother of eight found herself in a viral video that garnered headlines across Kentucky and beyond.

McDowell told The River City News on Wednesday, more than two weeks after the close election and days after Bevin’s concession, that when she first arrived at the Galt House, a woman approached her in the ladies room. “It seemed like she was beginning to placate me about Bevin’s pending loss,” McDowell remembered. McDowell was unmoved, convinced still that Bevin would prevail and win a second term.

“I was keeping up with it online and it looked like he was going to win, or at least come close to winning,” she said.

But more and more people at the event were beginning to whisper about the governor’s fading chances. Beshear had won Kenton County, where McDowell’s first prayers that day were shared on Bevin’s behalf, and neighboring Campbell County, two reliably Republican areas. Fayette County, home of Lexington, and Jefferson County, where the state’s largest city, Louisville, looms large in statewide elections, were both bloodbaths for the top of the Republican ticket.

It was becoming clearer as the night wore on, that Bevin would be unable to make up the margin of defeat in those areas.

“I ran into other people involved in the campaign process and they had similar things they were saying, trying to talk you into that he lost,” McDowell said.

Amid all these messages that she did not want to hear, McDowell turned to her frequent tool: prayer.

“I’m a praying woman. I just go into prayer. That’s what I do,” she said. “I took it to a spiritual level.”

She also took it to Facebook Live, a feature on the social media platform’s mobile app that allows users to broadcast in real time to their followers. She saw comments from followers supportive of a Bevin comeback.

“I just felt like it was a spiritual thing. It just seemed so strange. Everyone was acting really weird,” she said. “And so that’s why I prayed.”

Her thoughts drifted to “voter fraud”. “I felt it in my spirit. There was some kind of thing undermining the Bevin win,” McDowell said. “I just felt like that the entire time. It was such a dark feeling.”

McDowell is no stranger to electoral politics. In 2010 she waged a longshot bid for Kenton County Judge/Executive, where, running as an independent, she managed to get 24 percent of the vote (more than 9,000 votes) against Republican winner Steve Arlinghaus. There was no Democrat running that year, and the Democratic Party didn’t field a candidate for the county’s top job in 2014 or 2018, either, an indication of how strongly Republican the state’s third-largest county is.

That’s why at the Galt House, Kenton County was an early warning sign when Democrat Beshear carried it.

But McDowell was unmoved by her dark feelings.

“Bevin’s a strong Christian, so of course the enemy is not going to want him to win,” she said.

She continued praying with her friend when another woman approached them and wanted to join in. But then, she suspected, the enemy came closer.

“She was trying to steer our prayer toward Bevin was going to lose,” McDowell said. “And I’m thinking, this is really weird. That’s the enemy trying to come in and interrupt our prayer.”

From prayer, McDowell turned to chant. 

“So, I started to begin a chant – Bevin is the best!”

She first started chanting that at the final debate between Beshear and Bevin at Northern Kentucky University to sound off against pro-Beshear attendees. There, she was clad in her Wonder Woman shirt, a purchase from Halloween that became a campaign staple for her.

But in Louisville, someone inside the GOP victory event approached her and asked why she was chanting, she said.

“I kept thinking, why would you ask me?”

Convinced that “the enemy” was in her midst, McDowell returned to prayer and Facebook Live. “And then I ended up getting a phone call from another friend and was praying with him and my friend who was there (at the Galt House), and he’s telling me the results are coming in,” she said.

The idea that results were still coming in kept McDowell’s hopes alive. 

Bevin just needed more prayers, she thought.

“There was nobody there to lead us in prayer, so somebody needs to lead us in prayer,” she said.

Bevin had, after all, appointed McDowell to the state consumer protection advisory council just weeks before the election. The failed candidate for Kenton County judge/executive (2010), Covington mayor (2012), Covington city commission, Kentucky state representative (2018), and President of the United States (as she announced in 2016) wanted to stand up for her guy.

The somebody who needed to lead the GOP victory rally in prayer may just be her, Alyssa Dara McDowell, she thought.

“I kind of felt like – this thought came to my head – it would be weird for me to go on stage,” she said. But her friend on the phone praying with her prodded her. “He said, if there is no one there to stop you…”

McDowell, in her Wonder Woman shirt, her mind on praying away the enemy, made her way to the stage.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect to announce that Governor Bevin had won,” she said.

But she did.

As seen in a viral video distributed by Lexington TV station WLEX, which now has nearly 400,000 views, McDowell is seen coming on an empty stage with a mobile phone at her ear, trotting towards the open podium.

“Hey, we just got word,” she shouted into the mic. “Matt Bevin has won!”

The crowd, which had much to celebrate as the Republicans easily swept all the other statewide offices but were down at the prospect of Bevin’s pending loss, went from somber to jubilant in an instant.

McDowell appeared to become swept up in it. Still holding a phone to her ear, she began to “whoo” along with the crowd, her voice amplified by the mic. “Yes!,” she shouted before jumping up and down and waving her hand around. 

By the time she went back to the mic, grabbing it with her free hand and beginning to speak into it, the sound had been cut off and a man was tapping her on the back. Still holding the phone at her ear and shouting into a mic that was no longer on, McDowell initially ignored the man who was trying to get her to leave the stage. She yelled into the turned-off mic for fifteen full seconds, long enough for a second man to come along and nudge her off stage.

Finally, she relented and departed.

McDowell was kicked out of the Galt House.

In sharing her recollection of the event, McDowell maintains that she was motivated purely to lead the attendees in prayer on behalf of their governor. A friend on the other end of the phone was sharing information that some counties were going for Bevin, she said, and she just wanted to say the Lord’s Prayer to the crowd. 

In fact, while the mic was still on, it can be made out that McDowell said, “Hey, we just got word, Matt Bevin has won! So, we’re just gonna pray,” before she was swept up in the cheers.

“I had planned on saying the Lord’s Prayer and it kind of came out,” she said to The River City News about her erroneous victory proclamation on behalf of Bevin. “I was trying to think back, why did I say that?

“I did not premeditate this.”

But the jubilation from the crowd was a good feeling for her, she remembered. 

“It felt like that was Joshua’s walk in the Bible when the wall came down and people were able to enter the Promised Land,” she said. “We have to pray for the wall to come down and then they shouted and that’s what it felt like, the spiritual battle is over.”

But McDowell’s battle at the Galt House would not be over.

After being ushered off the stage, she said some in the crowd shouted at her, Lock Her Up, a refrain common at rallies for President Donald J. Trump in reference to his vanquished Democratic rival Hillary Clinton. Someone ripped her Matt Bevin pin from her lapel, McDowell said.

She said that while she was on stage shouting into a mic that was no longer on, she was reciting the Lord’s Prayer. 

“Someone tried to grab me while I was getting ready to pray. I felt somebody’s hand on my arm, but I didn’t register exactly what he was saying. I was just thinking, let me finish this prayer,” she said. “I just finished the whole Lord’s Prayer, even the mic wasn’t on. I didn’t realize the mic was off until halfway through, but I just thought, at least complete the prayer.”

“The other guy did get a little pushy. I had to turn around and say, do not push me.”

“As I walked through the crowd, it was so traumatic for me,” McDowell said. “People had lined up. People were shouting, lock her up. Someone ripped my Bevin pin off my jacket. They accused me of being a teacher.”

Kentucky teachers had been credited with buoying Beshear’s campaign against Bevin following the incumbent’s support for controversial pension reform legislation.

“I just kept thinking, why?,” she said. “You don’t even know if he won or not.”

“To me, it was a blatant coup. It was already set up and I just wanted to uncover it.”

Instead, she was asked to depart the premises.

“I was escorted out of the event,” she said. 

But her moment on stage inside the event would become a viral moment that McDowell herself would be late to see. She said she had exhausted herself campaigning for Bevin across Kenton County and then driving to and from Louisville, and by the time she returned to Covington and went to bed, she slept until 2 the next afternoon.

“My kids were saying, mom’s gone viral,” she said. “And they were just watching it and laughing their butts off and my daughter was like, I don’t want to watch it, I don’t want to hear about it.”

“We like to laugh a lot anyway. I don’t mind laughing at myself and I thought it was funny. My daughter is a little embarrassed. I’m probably a laughing stock at church now.”

Some pastors, she said, called to see if she was OK.

And she is OK, she said, and even plans to run for office again. “I will probably do it perpetually,” she said. 

“I always pray about it. And Lord, if you want me to do something, I’ll get an idea to do it,” she said. “I’m wide open to politics. I’m pretty much always going to be involved at some level.”

And as she reflected on her viral moment from the GOP event in Louisville, she turned upward again.

“I did it for you, Lord.”

This might just be one crazy person. But she is a good representation of what the conservative movement has become. And if this is what the Lord wants, then I hope to go to Hell as soon as possible.


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17 days ago
Yet another reason I'm ashamed of my state. People using religion to be crackpots and lying and thinking god commands them to rush a stage.
Louisville, Kentucky
17 days ago
Washington, DC
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1 public comment
19 days ago
“They accused me of being a teacher.” Jesus H Christ.

Magic Eyes

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I was working an internship for this small company that sells all kinds of cheap products made in China and the boss had me making advertising banners for their many websites. Most of it was typical stuff like promos for sales, holiday/seasonal-themed ones.

The client came over to check on me and I showed him what I had so far.

Client: Hmmm. No. I don’t like any of these pictures. Why don’t you just use Google?

Me: I did. This was the best I could find.

Client: Let me check.

He sat next to me and did a basic Google image search with no Creative Commons filter.

Client: Oh, hey, see? THIS one’s better.

Me: Yeah but that might be copyrighted. If it didn’t show up when I used the Creative Commons filter, that usually means it’s copyrighted.

Client: Naw, I can usually tell whether an image is copyrighted or not. I’ll check it.

He then stared at the image for a few seconds while I watched in disbelief.

Client: Nope! It’s not copyrighted!

Thankfully I found a similar image that WAS okay to use because sorry but I am NOT risking my neck on your “magic vision.”

The post Magic Eyes appeared first on Clients From Hell.

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21 days ago
Watermarked != copyrighted (I'm sure they were staring trying to find a watermark)
Louisville, Kentucky
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